Self Check

 
 

authors Notes

This piece is about how we make everything about the other person not liking us, wanting us, feeling us, needing us.
When it's really about ourselves and how we feel internally. 

It's about you.

This piece illustrates the emotional up and down we take ourselves through when we like someone, mainly in the beginning. 
We are so busy looking outward that we neglect to shine the light inward on the effort we put into the person and how they genuinely feel about us. So much so, we miss key clues and red flags. 

Heaven forbid we protect ourselves from getting hurt, when the option is to be blissfully lost in someone else.

This behavior illustrates the reality of our fears. Highlighting past experiences, missed opportunities, particular events or series of cycles that has scarred us. 

We create these ideas of how this person is thinking, feeling, and perceiving us.  As a result, we literally drive ourselves bat shit. 

In actuality we are simply coloring what we fear they may see in us. Will they see what the other guy or girl saw? will this be just like that time? Am I walking into the same cycle? Fuck, I can't make this mistake again. 

So we strategize...
Okay, now how do I prevent this from happening again... I know! Aloof affection. You know, caring but acting like you halfway give a shit.  

But I have a better idea. How about you give yourself the love and intimacy you're searching for in the other person. That way you can just be your vibrant transparent self, and trust that he or she will see you and all that you are. 

Honestly, at the beginning and the end of the day it's that persons choice to like you or not.
You have to surrender to the truth that It is completely out of your control. This goes for business relationships and new friendships as well.

Do remember, It is your responsibility to take care of yourself no matter how bad you desire to feel liked, loved from whomever comes into your life.

Be Well,

Jisann

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