Hold Onto Your Joy
My work is sometimes born out of pain and frustration. I've had to see the light, find the light, and be the light, as I work daily to keep it shining brightly in my life.
It takes a conscious effort to be happy, to choose joyfulness in the face of all the shit that is happening in your life. From day to day occurrences and stressors, to sudden painful and even depressing surprises. Sadness and the expression of emotions are necessary components to healing, but in the face of it all I choose to connect with my joy; to find and live in my light.
Because remaining depressed and in the dark is not an option for me,
I choose happiness. I choose joy even in the face of all the muck and pain.
As I work it all out, as I feel, as I cry, as I grieve, as I lay heartbroken and raw... I still choose happiness.
I choose me in the end. I choose the joy of the future even as I am experiencing the pain of the present.
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I was going through a tough time here. Moving out of grief for the loss of both family and friend. Also grief for myself that I was having such a hard time with it. I was beginning to understand it and also make up my mind that I did not want to remain in this state for much longer.
I was trying to pull out my happy, using patience, self love, and time. Because some things just take time. Especially healing. If its one thing I've learned over the years is, impatience, aggression, and shaming yourself into submission just does not work. These methods do not heal, instead they cripple.